I have been conducting scientific research to figure out if my religion is the real one. If it is, I can still be assured of eternal happiness, while you perverts and sodomites will be assured of eternal damnation.
I have conducted the following experiments:
- I stepped on all of the cracks in the sidewalk. So far, my mother's back remains unbroken.
- I looked really, really carefully at a photo of a rock that looked like it was a fossil of a human footprint underneath a dinosaur footprint. It looked real to me!
- I prayed that if my religion was real, I would get some sort of sign. The next morning when I woke up, one of the flowers in my garden had bloomed.
You atheists don't know what you have coming to you. Fortunately, I do.