Greetings, ye who eat food sacrificed to idols:
I admit it.
I was momentarily confused by the fast-talking evilutionists. It seemed like they might have evidence for what I now see is a plainly ridiculous theory.
But then I spent some more time on the Internet, where someone told me that evolution is a religion.
I TOTALLY GET IT NOW. Evolution really IS a religion! Therefore, I can mock it and be sure that it's not real.
Yes, I hear your complaints. You never stop, do you?
I mean that OTHER religions aren't real. Mine is 100% true. That's why it's OK for me to insult other people by saying that they are religious. They're not religious in the exact way that I am, so they're wrong.
Try to keep up, would you?