The sharp, double-edged sword

Greetings, ye who eat food sacrificed to idols:

I admit it.

I was momentarily confused by the fast-talking evilutionists. It seemed like they might have evidence for what I now see is a plainly ridiculous theory.

But then I spent some more time on the Internet, where someone told me that evolution is a religion.

I TOTALLY GET IT NOW. Evolution really IS a religion! Therefore, I can mock it and be sure that it's not real.

Yes, I hear your complaints. You never stop, do you?

I mean that OTHER religions aren't real. Mine is 100% true. That's why it's OK for me to insult other people by saying that they are religious. They're not religious in the exact way that I am, so they're wrong.

Try to keep up, would you?