Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I brake for distilled spirits

I am still collecting applications to take over the blog in the last days. The signs are everywhere. I'm telling you, the sky is already dark here. How much more do you need?

I saw a fascinating bumper sticker the other day as I was driving to work. There's no better use for a $20,000 car than as a sticker book, I say.

Anyway, this particular sticker caught my eye.

In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned.

I must congratulate the writer for reaching a new level of snarkiness. I'd bow at his feet, except that I don't turn to idols. I'm leaving that for the person who wins my contest. This sticker is a simple yet direct way of making the following points:

1. I'm definitely going to heaven.
2. You are not. Otherwise, there would be no need for this warning.
3. I think there's a reasonable chance that the rapture will happen while I'm driving.
4. It's really funny to think about my car, suddenly driverless, plowing headlong into traffic. See how glib I am about it? That's because I think it's fun to joke about the deaths of innocents. Except that these people aren't innocent, so who really cares?
5. Too bad I can't put a warning on the front of my car too, so the pagans can see me coming in case of rapture. Oh wait, they are probably too busy living in debauchery to bother watching for my unmanned vehicle. Never mind.

No comments: