They Should Be Flogged

You WILL NOT believe it.

There is a blog out there that makes fun of my religion. And they make fun of ME! It is hard to believe, I know.

First, I prayed that they would stop. Unfortunately, that didn't work. God must want me to stop them myself. That's why I now send them insulting messages, sometimes up to a hundred every day, pointing out how stupid they are. Anyone who criticises me has to be an idiot. Everything they say is a lie. (This is called an a priori argument.)

I spend hours every day reading and commenting on this evil blog, refreshing the page over and over, praying that someone else will show up and agree with my holy messages. It will happen eventually, I'm sure of it. And when it does, I'll be there to see it happen. I burn with holiness every time I see that those heathens have put up a new post. I have even given up my shift picketing the public library so I can keep an eye on the Internet.

But since that still hasn't produced the results I would like, I have decided to step up my game. These evil people are interfering with my freedom of speech, so they must be shut down. Yes. It is clearly the only option I have left. Nobody should be allowed to criticise me. It is blatantly unfair that they are allowed to exist, let alone to spew their propaganda! Who ever heard of such a thing?

I'm glad to see that you agree.