I have succeeded in getting this blog listed on NWTBlogs.com. This opens up new evangelizing opportunities for me. I wasn't sure at first if I would be listed, but I did my best to be polite. I started by praying that G-d would add me to the site directly, so I wouldn't have to sully my sent-mail folder with any messages to heathens. Then I beat my breast and spat on a few atheists. When that didn't work, I contacted the site administrators. I figure this can count as my visit with prostitutes:
Greetings, perverts and sodomites,
It has come to my attention that you have a directory of blogs from the NWT. I write from my post guarding the Garden of Eden, but my ISP is in Yellowknife, so I suppose that's close enough. The Garden of Eden is not really a physical place, anyway.
I think that if you add me to this directory, it will be a great evangelizing tool. For me. Not so much for you. I'm definitely praying for you, though. Not that it's likely to do any good, mind you, but I always feel good about myself when I pray for heathens. It just gives me an added boost to know how much better I am than the rest of you.
Lo and behold, my direct appeal worked! Now I have access to all of the site's readers! I'm sure they will be impressed by my holiness.
Remember, G-d CHOOSES who will be saved. It's not too late for you, though. I'm reaching out to atheists through this holy blog. Just part of my daily self-flagellation. That's how difficult this is for me. Imagining your ultimate pain and suffering is really hard, but it makes me feel better to know that you'll actually have to live through it.