I'm the very model of a crazy evangelical,
Condemning everything I hate or demonize unbiblical
I'm waiting, breathing, teaching, screaming, still apocalyptical
And reject any suggestion that I'm comical or clinical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with all good things political
No need to ask: you ought to know I'm never quite theatrical
And we all know I'm better than you -- let's give up this silly ruse
With many cheerful facts about your punishments (I must enthuse)
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